i am trying.

maybe it's an Aries thing.

i spoke to mich the other day. over yu pian mee fen.

we have so much in common that i swear i wanna hug her and go "yes yes yes. OMG yes
" till my head falls off.

that's for another time. i just wanna thank the cowchewingrass.blogspot babe for lunch and wonderful albeit separate accounts of Aussie memories.

yes. after a year. i am still at it. wonderful memories never to be forgottened.

I ONLY HAVE THIS TO SAY.



Hady should so win Singapore idol please.

this feeling just seems like yesterday.

the boy and i had dinner with his colleagues and partners at iguanacafe.

not bad a place. but i realised that.

i don't really fancy mexican food.

but do go there and try. loads of other restaurants along clarke quay.

ok. gotta clear the bowels! tata!

It's her 20th!

to the one affectionately known as bin, binny, bing-bong and binza (by jason chua):

Thank you binny, for the many laughs and sorrows that we have shared through the years. Thank you for it could never have been the same without you.Thank you for the years of friendship.

Thank you for being special.

Happy Birthday Lim Shi Bin!

Love,

fefefefefefefefefefefefefefefefe!

i guess the issue was never about the 5 years gap. 5 years nothing if you're matured. and i am not. therefore, the issue unfortunately lies with me.

2 years already. and i still can't deal with the paranoia blah blah. obviously the issue lies with me.

2 years. i thought i would be able to resist being paranoid, resist being sensitive, resist being protective. but i realise i really can't. i've tried reading, think positive thoughts, exercising, singing, eating, almost everything i can do at the moment but i just can't stop thinking.

see. it's me.

he didn't even do anything wrong. he was just leading the life that he should be leading. and just because i couldn't deal with it doesnt mean he has to give it up.

i am typing all this as if putting it down in words is going to change me. i know it's not going to.

the next time round, the whole emo thing is going to start again.

it's tiring. but it doesn't mean that we don't love.

it simply means that two being together ain't easy and it won't get easier.

sometimes i just wanna curl up and sleep and wake up to find myself someone different. like probably Jennifer Aniston. i really like her. and i think she's really hot.

i am hahaha-ing on msn and feeling emo in my own room. it's tiring. but it doesn't mean i'm unhappy.

i'm just tired of allowing myself to be attacked by emo thoughts. i could push them away, i guess.

i could, i guess.

see. i told you the problem lies with me.

it's the 15th of August.

and it's the birthday of a particular felicia.

nono, not mine!

i'll always remember this day, not because it's her birthday

but because of this.
.
.
.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

so many things have happened but i feel that i ain't gonna be bothered. i have a life of my own to lead and it's time i start living it after 18 years.

people, shat happens, live on.

anyway, i finally have someone in mind. -claps- not that we are together or anything, but it's funny how he entered my life. finally. i am not gonna say that he's the one i have been looking for but he's definitely the one now after searching for so long. there's just something about him and yes, i am happy enough.

i'll wait for him and meanwhile, he shall be my motivation.

YES YOU.

15 Aug 2005: till we meet again.

15 Aug 2005 was the day we had planned to meet for the first time. Thank god i didn't have to wait that long. but still, it's a special date for me.

i only have a question.

why did we agree to meet on his ex gf's birthday?

WHY???!!!

i hate to freaking say this

but

I THINK I AM GONNA HATE SCHOOL (AGAIN).

after probably a million tries, i am proud to say i am (finally) a new driver on the road!

i'm back. simply because school is starting in less than a week and i feel obliged to get the rants going for those who faithfully returns to this black space.

and bloody hell. i get spams on my tag board.

anyway, loads of emotions this period of time. some good, some bad. you know, the usuals. emo-ing half my time away.

anyhow, am glad to be back and writing shitloads of crap.

see ya!

2 years and 15 days.
it only teaches us to be less tactful towards our other half.

2 years and 15 days.
many many more tests to come.

2 years and 15 days.
more tears. more pain.

2 years and 15 days.
uncertainty and maybes.

just 2 years and 15 days.
yet sometimes you get so tired, you wonder how's the forever gonna be like.

tomorrow will be 2 years and 16 days.

11 August will be a better day. (: