when i can no longer hide my tears.

on the way home, had 'comfortable' by John Mayer on my repeat mode. the feeling's so.... icky. if there is even such a word. the bus was packed, noisy yet i was in my own world with John Mayer. and i felt better for a moment for i thought at least Mr John understands. at least i hope he does or i think he did.

i am becoming way too emotional lately. not that i was never one but then it just got worse. like how i can no longer control those tears. like how singing to myself/twiddling with my fingers/staring at a particular area (techniques i use to control my tears) no longer helped. for the last time, i wish i couldn't feel.

it still matters.

after some faked smile. it still does.

i wish i was attractive. at least to you.
but i know, you would never have looked my way.

i am way plain.
she's beautiful. i think they are.















here's to me: the most plain felicia.