the funniest thing.
i am gonna write illogically and randomly cos that is how my mind works in cold and lonely Sydney.
i guess it doesn't matter what crap i am gonna write here cos he doesn't ever read my blog anymore. not that i think that he used to read it faithfully but at least i know that he used to read them from time to time. not anymore (i think).
so here's freedom to express.
what/how i truly feel.
in cold and lonely Sydney at 1.17am.
As usual, i am not sleeping.
not that i dont want to, but i can't. i rather be sleeping because it feels damn lonely and cold and silent except for his occasional snoring and my tappings against the keyboard. i wonder how's everyone doing at the moment. and i mean Singapore of cos. Somehow i really miss the warmth. from the sun as well as from people around me.
ah i miss mum dad bro. ah.
i watch him sleep everynight. tuck him under the un-washed blankie and check on him from time to time, with pecks on his cheeks now and then. watching him sleep's cute. like he's cute so i suppose everything about him is. ah. i watch his motions all the time. like how he eats, sleeps, works. like a kind of obsession.
obsession's not really bad all the time.
i hate to admit but i love him.
love at it's ultimate that i want sole possession. like even the past matters and how the future is scary, at least for me. i don't wanna lose.
i never ever liked losing.
funny how i love. in the midst of a crowd of freaking 4 million people in Singapore, and 247938720 million on friendster, i found a love.
funny how i love. people i ever walked past or even just a brush. people i ever met in clubs, cafes, schools, malls, you get my point, i found love on the internet.
something so virtual blossomed into reality.
like it was meant to be.
ask me one thing that i think is magical.
ASK ME.
i am not unhappy. just feel very insecure and inadequate and a whole load more.
i wonder if you ever watch me sleep.
see, speaking in fragments. even i am annoying the hell out of myself.
police sirens awhile ago. ah finally, some tinge of noise.
ah.
i am gonna write illogically and randomly cos that is how my mind works in cold and lonely Sydney.
i guess it doesn't matter what crap i am gonna write here cos he doesn't ever read my blog anymore. not that i think that he used to read it faithfully but at least i know that he used to read them from time to time. not anymore (i think).
so here's freedom to express.
what/how i truly feel.
in cold and lonely Sydney at 1.17am.
As usual, i am not sleeping.
not that i dont want to, but i can't. i rather be sleeping because it feels damn lonely and cold and silent except for his occasional snoring and my tappings against the keyboard. i wonder how's everyone doing at the moment. and i mean Singapore of cos. Somehow i really miss the warmth. from the sun as well as from people around me.
ah i miss mum dad bro. ah.
i watch him sleep everynight. tuck him under the un-washed blankie and check on him from time to time, with pecks on his cheeks now and then. watching him sleep's cute. like he's cute so i suppose everything about him is. ah. i watch his motions all the time. like how he eats, sleeps, works. like a kind of obsession.
obsession's not really bad all the time.
i hate to admit but i love him.
love at it's ultimate that i want sole possession. like even the past matters and how the future is scary, at least for me. i don't wanna lose.
i never ever liked losing.
funny how i love. in the midst of a crowd of freaking 4 million people in Singapore, and 247938720 million on friendster, i found a love.
funny how i love. people i ever walked past or even just a brush. people i ever met in clubs, cafes, schools, malls, you get my point, i found love on the internet.
something so virtual blossomed into reality.
like it was meant to be.
ask me one thing that i think is magical.
ASK ME.
i am not unhappy. just feel very insecure and inadequate and a whole load more.
i wonder if you ever watch me sleep.
see, speaking in fragments. even i am annoying the hell out of myself.
police sirens awhile ago. ah finally, some tinge of noise.
ah.
posted by fe fe at
11:19 PM
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